Ten common adoption misunderstandings

1. I am too old to adopt

   All applicants must be 21 years old or above. There is no upper age limit. It is important that adopters have the qualities and energy required to meet the needs of children now and in their growing years ahead – this can be emotionally and physically demanding. You will need to consider the age/ages of the child or children you wish to adopt. We can discuss this with you.

2. I can’t adopt - I’m not married

   You can be single, married, divorced, widowed, an unmarried couple, or in a civil partnership. In all applications we give careful consideration to your support networks as these can play a vital role in your future family.

3. My employment / financial situation prevents me adopting

   You don’t need to be wealthy or employed. Love, commitment and stability are what children need most. We will ask you to estimate whether you have the financial resources to care for a child or children and to think about whether your accommodation has the space for a child or children.

4. I don’t have much experience of children

   You may not have lots of experience of bringing up children, but other experiences in your life may have given you understanding which will be useful as an adopter. For example, this could be contact with, and caring for, the children of relatives or friends along with your own personal life experiences which help you to empathise with children.

5. Gay people can’t adopt

   Single people and couples who are gay can apply to adopt. Regardless of your sexuality we will look with you the qualities you have as an adoptive parent and your support networks.

6. Once I start the process of adopting I won’t be able to change my mind

   Some people contact us to ask questions about adoption and decide not to make an application, either because adoption does not feel right for them or it is something they wish to consider again in the future. You can ring us to talk about adoption without having to commit to an application.

   Sometimes people start the process of applying to adopt and pull out during the preparation and assessment stage. If after initial discussion with us you apply to adopt through Family Care we will talk to you about your expectations, hopes and fears and be open and honest with you. Part of the process of preparation is for you to ensure this is right for you. People do make the decision at times not to continue with an application and we understand and support this.

7. I can’t have children of my own – can I adopt?

   Yes, many of our adopters are childless. Some of our adopters have pursued other options such as IVF prior to adopting.

8. I don’t believe in God – will that count against me?

   You can apply to adopt if you are of any religious faith and if you do not have a religious faith. We will assess you on your ability to provide a secure loving environment for a child or children needing adoption, not on your religious beliefs.

9. The process is quite negative with people being scrutinised and judged

   We recognise and celebrate the differences between people and strive to treat all people fairly and with respect during the adoption process. At Family Care we work in partnership with prospective adopters, being honest and open and always aiming to build a relationship based on trust.

   Yes, the process of preparation and assessment can feel unfamiliar. We need information about you, your lifestyle, expectations, and ability to provide an adopted child with a family, primarily to ensure that children who have experienced being let down in the past are not let down again by us. The process also enables us to get the information we need to match the skills and experience of approved adopters to children who are waiting for families.

   If you have concerns you may find some of these worries are alleviated by reading the stories of people who have adopted through us may alleviate some of these worries. Our adopters tell us that they value the time we take to explain the process and why different aspects of the process are important to ensure they are comfortable and understand what to expect. We also recognise that potential adopters appreciate the consistency of having one allocated social worker through the process so that a positive relationship can develop.

10. Extra-ordinary people adopt

    We think the people we work with, match children with, and the children themselves are extra-ordinary. Many of the adopters that we consider as extraordinary do not describe themselves that way.

    Just like the children awaiting adoption, adopters come with a diversity of backgrounds, experiences, cultures, beliefs and expectations. Adopters do not all come to adoption with the certainty that it was for them - they may come to us with a mix of fear, excitement and uncertainty. The thing they have in common is the love, security and stability that they are able to give to a child.

Read about some of the people who have adopted through us